Hello everyone. Well, I went in for another scan on Monday to see the baby and we are right at 8 weeks exactly. While it's still a bunch of white squiggles on a screen with a lump here and there, I was happy to see that baby is getting so much bigger. The baby is about the size of a kidney bean and waht I could make out on the screen was little arm buds developing. Baby’s legs were a bit more difficult to see, but I understand that the little tail is almost done disappearing into the body and the little legs will start growing bigger. Soon, baby will get some nice muscles to help with movements. I also got to hear that super heart beat. I love hearing that because it just means LIFE to me.
What am I thinking? I’m so ready to be done with all of these meds.
How am I feeling? Hungry, nauseous, and so very tired.
On the meds, I’ve been scheduled for one more scan at the monitoring clinic next Wednesday. I do not know why so soon or what they are looking for. I do know that I kind of hate all of these scans. Don’t get me wrong, I love the opportunity to see the baby growing and hear the little heartbeat. It serves as great piece of mind for me and for the IF. Okay, so I don’t hate the scans. What I hate are the bills. I don’t even have to pay the bills, of course, but I see them come in and it just feels like every new appointment is another nickel and dime to my IF in an already expensive process.
I understand; intended parens are aware of the potential costs going into this and that is a decision they made. And of course having their baby makes it all so worth it. The problem is I also know how much this whole process costs for them- for any intended parents, not just my own. These hopeful parents want to have a child so badly that they will almost literally give their left arms to do so. I do not know the financial situation of either my current or former IPs, and I have no desire to, but I do know that children are expensive even when they are traditionally conceived. I can’t imagine the stress it must add to the parents to get a new bill for this or that every new week. I honestly do not know why I have to go to the monitoring clinic one more time only a week and two days after my last visit. Maybe I should ask. I do know that if they wanted to wait to ten weeks and just let me go to my OB GYN my insurance would cover a huge chunk of the cost and the IF would only be responsible for my copay. That’s the difference of a couple hundred dollars, or a week worth of diapers and wipes.
When it comes down to it, I can’t change the process. I can only help in the best way I know how, and that’s to make sure this baby is as healthy and strong as it can possibly be. To do this, I take my medications, I get plenty of rest, and I eat as healthy as I can. And that is where this fun nausea comes in.
I am starving all the time, but anything and everything I try to eat just turns my stomach. I think milk and cheese are the only healthy things I can eat in any type of volume. I supplement with a chocolate milk drink that has all kinds of vitamins and minerals and protein. I hope that is enough. I don’t really know why I’m stressing myself out so much right now. I think it’s because it’s just so early I have way too much time to think. Ultimately, Baby is healthy and growing. Everything looks exactly like it should, and my body is doing what it should. We are doing fabulously.
Hopefully next update I will be with my OB and starting all the fun stuff.