The gift of surrogacy goes above and beyond any financial gain. It is a mutual agreement of people coming together to create / continue a family. It is a deep relationship that if supported by a caring and compassionate surrogacy agency can result in a lasting friendship.
As a two-time gestational carrier I wanted to discuss the sometimes taboo subject of carrier compensation. I remember when I went on my first surrogacy journey and people would ask me two questions right away:
Isn’t it going to be hard to give up the baby?
How much are you getting paid?
Now for me, the first question was easy; I would always reply, “I’m like the nanny. I am going to love and care for that child until he/she is back with their family”. Question 2 however was always difficult for me. I didn’t explore being a carrier for the sole reason of being compensated, that question almost “dirtied” the act I was about to do. It made it seem like it was more of a business deal when in fact it was my extreme desire to help someone start or continue a family. That was me, I loved being pregnant but I was done having any more children of my own. What a perfect way to help someone else experience the joy of parenting. I wanted to help and this was a way to do it. Any compensation that I received was a bonus in an already rewarding experience.
Any questions about surrogate mother pay made me very uncomfortable and I found myself switching the conversation so the focus was on the intended parents. I would explain that this is a very expensive process for them and that many had to endure several years of their own fertility treatments only to discover they now needed a third person to achieve their dreams. Then I would explain that no insurance will cover the costs of the monitoring I had to do pre/post transfer nor would it cover the medications, the IVF procedure, etc. This uncomfortable question was dodged because I didn’t want anyone to think I was doing this just for the money.
I was not alone in my thoughts and concerns. We've gathered (5) real-life testimonials from some of the wonderful gestational carrier’s we have worked with and their thoughts on surrogate mother compensation. CLICK HERE to read their stories.